t is often thrown around as a truism, "People need more than IQ to succeed, EQ is more important at determining success."
However the "Emotional" in EQ gives the wrong idea. They think IQ and
EQ are ends of a spectrum of heart and mind and that somehow a balance
must be struck. The often cited marshmallow test which is foundational
to the concept of EQseem to think that the children that could wait are
better behaved in the sense that they are good boys and girls and
therefore obedient. So high EQ must mean a good person. Right?
Wrong. The marshmallow test demonstrated delay of gratification. The
children who succeeded in the test are better in the future not because
their goodness is rewarded, they are better in the future because they
have the strength to focus on a goal, at the expense of personal
pleasure at the present. What high EQ means is a higher mastery of one's
emotions.
It is a metacognitive ability to be aware of one's
goals and one's emotional state and has the ability to function without
interference from emotion. It is not to say the people who succeed the
marshmallow tests are unfeeling, but they are aware that there is
greater satisfaction to be had by focusing on the task at hand.
Those who were impatient were actually those who did what their heart
desired. They did the honestly human thing to do. So actually EQ is also
a head function as well not heart as most people think it is.
So that said. Are you living a "richer" human experience by mastering your emotions or being freely emotional?
